


Did you loose what won't return?

by cutebutpsyco



Series: Endgame Countdown [22]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, How Do I Tag, I started to write this ages ago, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Reckless Driving - Mentioned, Stephen doesn't like cars, gala - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: Tony could feel that his boyfriend was shaking despite his hold was firm. He didn’t want to rush the times so waited until Stephen decided to climb into the passenger’s seat before reaching him inside. The way Stephen’s back was pushed against the seat and how his shaking left hand was keeping the seatbelt secure, though, broke Tony’s heart and convinced Stark to secure his own even if he wouldn’t, usually. Stephen was distant and Tony could see when someone was zoning out, though said nothing and turned the keys.The low and sweet roar of the engine filled the car, and Tony saw Stephen became paler.





	Did you loose what won't return?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago and never published it. I don't even know why, but considering that I was going through my WIPs docs, I decided to publish it today. Is this cheating on the Endgame Countdown series? Probably, but still. I hate leaving fics alone in their dark place between my unfinished Google Docs.
> 
> Rated for mild sexual contents. They didn't do anything, but better prevent than cure. 
> 
> As always, nothing belongs to me. Title from "Flares" by The Script

Their first public date was the MET opening gala which was something both of them avoided back in the days despite the fact that they continued to receive an invitation. Tony went once, when he was younger, and decided it wasn’t as funny as it looked from the outside, while Stephen simply didn’t like events in which he wasn’t the man of the hour. 

 

Though, Fury almost forced some of the Avengers to go because it was the best way to show to the world they were human beings in the first place, and for some reason, they were the lucky ones. 

Steve was too much a public figure to show up by Bucky’s side because the former Winter Soldier’s position hadn’t already been debated by the US; Nat said she was with Clint and his family that very same day and T’Challa was there as King of Wakanda. And it didn’t matter how Stephen phrase the same sentence, from “Tony can go with Cap, I’m not jealous of him” to “Peter is young and people usually like him”, at the end Tony said that if he had to go, Stephen would have followed him. 

Which was the main reason why they both were standing in front of the car Nick imposed them. 

“I don’t even care if the MET dress code is the Avengers, this year! You won’t walk out from a portal, and for god sake, no suit or cloak.” He said, the day before seeing their classical suits. Stephen’s was red and black and vaguely resembling the Iron Man’s suit while Tony’s was electric blue and a brighter shade of red. Somehow, they matched. And not just because they both were standing equally shocked in front of the car, to be honest. 

“Do you want to...?” Tony played with the key, gesturing at the dark and elegant Audi in front of them. Stephen was trying to hide his tremors but he couldn’t. He had never seated in a car since the accident happened. 

“No... Not really,” he said and he knew he could because his wonderful and comprehensive boyfriend was the only person around. “It’s a short ride... I can portal somewhere around the MET and, once you’ve parked, we can get in.” 

Tony looked at him and then took Stephen’s hand in his.   
“Honey, if you’ll feel more comfortable with this option, it’s fine, we can walk or portal us,” he whispered, his lips pressed against Stephen’s scarred hand. “I’m with you. In this, and in what will come in the future as well.”

Stephen lowered his glance on their fingers intertwined. He needed to know Tony wouldn’t have turned his back at him for his weakness. 

“I... I can’t trust myself driving and I know you never let anyone drive you since fucking Afghanistan... I can trust you.”

That was the point: trust, believe in others. And Tony never did it, not when it was about driving, but he would have let Stephen drive him. He just hoped Happy would never know it. His hold on Stephen’s hand tightened. It wasn’t shaking, not when Tony was holding it.  
“I just want you to know I would let you drive.” 

Stephen nodded, trying to hide his worries in a smile that didn’t lighten his steel blue eyes. Tony could understand what he was thinking about. He was still holding his boyfriend’s hand when Stephen moved toward the car, oddly keeping their hands joined over the elegant profile of it. 

Tony could feel that his boyfriend was shaking despite his hold was firm. He didn’t want to rush the times so waited until Stephen decided to climb into the passenger seat before reaching him inside. The way Stephen’s back was pushed against the seat and how his shaking left hand was keeping the seatbelt secure, though, broke Tony’s heart and convinced Stark to secure his own even if he wouldn’t, usually. Stephen was distant and Tony could see when someone was zoning out, though said nothing and turned the keys.  
The low and sweet roar of the engine filled the car, and Tony saw Stephen became paler. 

“Stephen,” he whispered, not daring to touch him. “I don’t want you to feel like this. Your well-being is hundreds of times more important than what Fury wants. Screw him!”

“No... it’s... it’s alright...” He didn’t look like he was so Tony switched off the car and turned to look at his boyfriend, covering his hand with his own.   
He knew he had to move slow around Stephen when he was in that state of mind, but Tony didn’t mind going slow when it came to making his loved ones feeling safe, especially when that person was his boyfriend. Strange acted like that with him so many times that, somehow, it was like returning a favour; then, if he could make feel Stephen even slightly better, he would have sold everything he owned to. 

“I’m here,” he said. “I’m here, you are safe. C’mon, get out of here. We’ll take the underground!” Tony decided, and even if people would have spoken about how Iron Man and Doctor Strange aka his boyfriend arrived at the MET gala with the underground he was ready to face that. He didn’t care about the press, he wasn’t going to let Stephen suffer not even a second more. 

“No...” Stephen whispered, though, his voice sounded steadier than before and he was looking at Tony and not at the void. “I want a good memory associated with a car. Maybe I’ll get over it if...” 

Tony nodded. He didn’t think about that but was happy Stephen did. That was what was different with him instead of Natasha or even Bruce, and Pepper too. They were similar and they could understand each other’s problems deeper than everyone else. In any other occasion, a relationship like theirs would have been considered unhealthy but there was nothing healthier than the way they make the other happy. It was simple, pure and respectful. 

Tony looked at him and smiled; a moment later, his boyfriend was leaning over him, still shaking but with a weird light in his steel blue eyes. Tony had to struggle to keep his hands on Stephen’s cheeks. He wanted to strip him and to be naked in front of him, he wanted to feel him hard against his own cock and forgetting about everything else.   
At that thought, his pants grew too tight without any effort from Stephen which wasn’t the best way to reach the MET without making a show out of it, truth to be told.   
They made out until Stephen stopped to shake against Tony’s body, and they parted, lips swollen and flushing both panting. 

“Tony...” Stephen said broken breath. “If you want to go to the gala, it’s better if you start driving now.” 

And, ok, Stark could see Stephen’s hard cock even through his suit pants and was sure to be in the same conditions so he turned the key and started the car without complaining even longer. 

Now, the point was, Tony Stark had never been a careful driver and never mind that New York wasn’t California with its huge and almost empty highways, he always considered speed limits as a challenge to break them. But he could see Stephen’s hands clanging around the passenger's seat and his totally not relaxed back pushed against the seat itself and decided he couldn’t care less about challenging the system and all these bullshit. He softly took the sorcerer’s left hand in his right enlacing their fingers and drove out the compound driveway. 

“It’s fine,” Tony whispered trying not to turn toward Stephen or not to kiss his knuckles because he knew his boyfriend could freak out if he didn’t keep his eyes fixed on the road. It was frustrating, truth to be told, but with the passing of minutes he could feel Stephen slightly relaxing at his side and that was the only thing that mattered. 

Tony never took so long to drive somewhere, but he never really enjoyed so much a drive either. Stephen wasn’t who someone would define the perfect passenger, too focused on telling Tony to pay attention, but Stark knew his boyfriend was letting him do something he wouldn’t let nobody else. It was something just between the two of them, and since they made the announcement at the others Avengers they had few moments to be alone. 

Somehow, somebody was always around. If it wasn’t Rogers and his boyfriend willing to receive a pardon that Tony wasn’t ready to give them, it was Peter. Or even worse, Harley. Tony ended up adopting the kid and his sister after that their mother died, and the teenager’s favourite person apart from Tony and Peter turned out to be Stephen. Which was great. But also meant the Stark Tower was off limits more times than not, and the Avengers Compound was always too populated. And since Bruce and Christine started to date it was only more complicated.

Wong was, at least, discrete, when the two of them were around the Sanctum, but Stephen and Tony could enjoy their time together only when they succeeded in sneaking out the Avengers meetings to go in Stephen’s old loft that Christine brought after having to see Strange’s astral projection a couple of years before. Somehow, they kept that propriety a secret from everyone else but they never succeeded in going there as many times they wished. It wasn’t just for having sex, Tony missed being alone with his boyfriend. He wasn’t hoping to do it during the gala, but at least he could show Strange off, there. 

He left the keys at one of the footmen at the entrance, and walked out the car followed by Stephen and, a moment later, a waterfall of flashes. 

He saw Stephen shifting uneasily at his side so Tony took his hand, walking through the small crowd of journalists. Stark immediately recognized a blonde woman from Vanity Fair that he used to know and decided that, possibly, answer to her questions would have allowed them a peaceful evening. Christine Everhart looked surprised, but Tony knew was still half a professionist enough not to ask embarrassing things. 

“Doctor Stark,” She said, dripping irony from her voice. When she focused on Stephen’s face, though, her smile softened. Tony felt jealousy climbing at the base of his throat. “Doctor Strange. I suppose this is the confirmation of most of the rumours we heard since the battle against Thanos. Definitely a change of theme from the playboy years, isn’t it?” 

Fucking gossip, not that Tony was expecting for something different. Though when he felt Stephen’s grip on his hand tightened, decided to let his boyfriend answer: 

“If you are asking us if we are dating, yes, we are. And I suppose that’s pretty clear. Though, I think we can all agree that Tony’s playboy years, as you called them, are way in the past,” He said and, despite everything, his tone and his face were the politeness in flash and blood. “Now, if you don’t have more interesting questions, which I highly doubt considering that Tony was offering you an exclusive interview and you choose to ask him about his private life, we have a party to attend.” 

The journalist had no more interesting questions to ask. 

“Babe, are you ok?” Tony asked him a moment later, once they reach the MET main hall. Stephen retired in a corner of the room and was nursing a flute of champagne as if his life depended on it. 

“Yeah… It’s just, the car, that journalists… everything,” He moved his left hand to indicate a vague circle in the air. Tony nodded. “This reminds me of when I was a surgeon. And I was an awful person. And then I think about where I am now, and I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you either.” 

Tony looked at him and his heart broke a little at the sight in front of him. Stephen Strange was one of the strongest men he had ever known, and there he was, believing of not being enough. “Hey,” He said. “I don’t see how you could have been an awful person while saving lives, but that is in the past. And the person I know now is the kindest and most beautiful man I’ve ever met. And I love this person so much.” 

He was rewarded with one of Stephen’s soft and honest smiles, and that was everything he ever wanted. It meant that, even if Strange didn’t believe him, he had faith in Tony’s words, and that was enough. There was all the time in the world to make Stephen realize how beautiful he was, inside and out.

**Author's Note:**

> You already know what to do!
> 
> **prompts? wanna say hi?** check out my [tumblr](http://ironstrange-is-the-endgame.tumblr.com)!


End file.
